Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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