i think my mom watched the whole time
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
