Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
