You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i believe in u and ur pee
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
