Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Everyone says I win the strip club
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
