I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
