P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
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Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
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I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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