If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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