I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
of course. lets lasso hookers.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
