There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
