some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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