discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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