So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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