he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
A+ Viking dick