Texts From Last Night

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  (562): View more from California

  Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar

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  (562): Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar http://tfl.nu/ilql
  Replies (6) Good night (864) Bad night (2334)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night

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  (603): i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening (508): yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night http://tfl.nu/fae5
  Replies (45) Good night (5537) Bad night (666)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck

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  (610): all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck http://tfl.nu/mnqh
  Replies (49) Good night (1358) Bad night (7387)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay

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  (508): Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay http://tfl.nu/rfq4
  Replies (44) Good night (1389) Bad night (8573)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.

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  (609): they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate. http://tfl.nu/wnmg
  Replies (11) Good night (1002) Bad night (5049)
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  (845): View more from New York

  no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.

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  (845): no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion. http://tfl.nu/fs9l
  Replies (13) Good night (1196) Bad night (5555)
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  (650): View more from California

  Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished

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  (650): Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished http://tfl.nu/z9y5
  Replies (2) Good night (1871) Bad night (759)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.

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  (775): She called to say she's single and blow job season is back. http://tfl.nu/ndvl
  Replies (7) Good night (3749) Bad night (725)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.

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  (217): i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in. http://tfl.nu/1p6s
  Replies (1) Good night (1922) Bad night (650)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs

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  (724): Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs http://tfl.nu/vayg
  Replies (5) Good night (1191) Bad night (467)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!

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  (804): Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body! http://tfl.nu/7w2d
  Replies (4) Good night (1202) Bad night (631)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.

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  (254): I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake. http://tfl.nu/f2e6
  Replies (8) Good night (594) Bad night (1336)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella

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  (901): The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella http://tfl.nu/24ug
  Replies (4) Good night (1181) Bad night (506)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?

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  (+44): HELP! How do I get paint off the dog? http://tfl.nu/myj5
  Replies (6) Good night (354) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS

  (1-443): View more from Maryland

  excuse me?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.

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  (443): THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS (1-443): excuse me? (443): I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car. http://tfl.nu/t356
  Replies (1) Good night (816) Bad night (450)

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