just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.