Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.