chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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