Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.

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  (914): Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective. http://tfl.nu/41o9
  Replies (15) Good night (618) Bad night (1872)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.

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  (724): after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger. http://tfl.nu/1s95
  Replies (46) Good night (1377) Bad night (15315)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can

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  (610): Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can http://tfl.nu/8h8s
  Replies (17) Good night (6145) Bad night (827)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?

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  (253): Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls? http://tfl.nu/i6ht
  Replies (18) Good night (3991) Bad night (683)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested

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  (720): You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested http://tfl.nu/xmgm
  Replies (5) Good night (3317) Bad night (907)
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.

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  (+49): Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom. http://tfl.nu/2s5g
  Replies (6) Good night (2754) Bad night (932)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.

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  (509): Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life. http://tfl.nu/zh07
  Replies (6) Good night (1487) Bad night (629)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.

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  (517): this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/l5cn
  Replies (1) Good night (1202) Bad night (1024)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"

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  (404): This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome" http://tfl.nu/7ky1
  Replies (5) Good night (2704) Bad night (548)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.

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  (417): It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday. http://tfl.nu/s40o
  Replies (15) Good night (2340) Bad night (521)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back

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  (352): As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back http://tfl.nu/26q8
  Replies (5) Good night (1388) Bad night (534)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room

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  (828): You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn. (828): Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room http://tfl.nu/vl43
  Replies (2) Good night (1004) Bad night (226)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.

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  (956): I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied. http://tfl.nu/aspz
  Replies (2) Good night (481) Bad night (341)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS

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  (480): COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS http://tfl.nu/rprl
  Replies (4) Good night (531) Bad night (187)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly

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  (574): Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly http://tfl.nu/0015
  Replies (2) Good night (451) Bad night (228)

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