You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
