I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
