i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
