They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
