just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
