I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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