Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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