you turned your livingroom into a bong?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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