...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
