So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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