She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
