is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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