3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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