I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The best revenge is premature balding
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
