I think I am morally bankrupt
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
