is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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