I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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