the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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