what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
