why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Why are your pants in the freezer?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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