yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
