Where is the hickey?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize