Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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