Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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