ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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