He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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