A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
