I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
