I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
