But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
