yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
