I bet he comes in French.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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