apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
