Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
