Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
