also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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