69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
