Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We are all done wearing pants today
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
