maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
