There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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