3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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