I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
