Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
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She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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