what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
